Our Awesome God

I am currently at the beach this week with my Aunt, Uncle, two boy cousins, and one of my cousins girlfriends. This morning, I went for a run down on the beach at 8 in the morning...yes you read it correctly, 8 in the morning! As I was running I was listening to the pop music on my ipod and singing a long in my head to the lyrics, when I realized I really needed to be listening to Christian music. I don't know why that thought entered in to my head, maybe it was because I just finished a book yesterday called "Heaven is For Real" and it's been on my mind constantly, maybe God himself put that thought in my head...I don't know. But anyways, I changed the song to "Everthing" by Lifehouse. Here are the lyrics:

Find me Here

Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

First of all, this song came to mind because a couple of years ago I went to Ridgecrest, a Lifeway Christian Conference Center, and this song was performed by teens in a interpretive movement dance. The first time I saw that I was moved in a way I had never been moved before. Here is the skit:

http://youtu.be/cyheJ480LYA 

Anyways, not 5 seconds after I had turned that song on my ipod I looked out into the ocean and saw a dolphin in "swimming distance" of the shore. I was in awe. My favorite animal is a dolphin, just so you know. So when I saw that I saw that as God showing me he is there, he is King, and he can do anything. I have never seen that animal so close to shore before...I even truly considered jumping in the water (in my tennis shoes, spandex capris, and sports bra) to go see if I could touch it, but then decided against it. My whole run got turned around after that, I must've stood there watching the group of 4 or 5 dolphins for 5 minutes, watching intently as they stayed long enough for me to see and then swim away. Then I thought about my God. He's absolutely incredible. There isn't any doubt in my mind that he sent those dolphins to let me see them. 

I softly spoke aloud "thank you" to God. Thank you for showing me that little sign that Your watching over me, that  You hear me when I speak, and that Your an amazing God.

ps. Aunt Nicki, there's no doubt in my mind you should write...love what you (and your mother) had to say in your last blog posts!! Love you.

"You Can't Always Get What You Want

...but if you try sometimes, you get what you need"

the most famous song by the Rolling Stones has hit me hard here lately. I'm getting closer and CLOSERRRR to college...and the time is getting shorter where I know I won't have to ask before I go out with someone, ask to go here and there, and ask to do practically anything I want to do anymore. 

Here lately, all I want is a little FREEDOM. Not at all like I want to go crazy and do some bad stuff, but more like I wanna go out and eat MCD at 10 o'clock at night if I want, is that so much to ask? Or, I wanna go see my friends for a movie...just things like that. Being SO close to that kind of freedom but not quite being there now is taking its toll. I'm getting anxious, and so excited for the college life.

Does this look like the face of a girl who wants to get into some serious trouble? I think not!

& maybe this isn't true, but it feels like the closer I get to moving out, the more the parents want to keep you in...want to control your every move. Maybe that is just because they know you will be leaving soon and they know you WILL be able to do a lot of things without their permission...but here is what I've learned...that when the parents are like that, it doesn't help the situation AT ALL. It makes me even more pumped for the day that I get to go out into the world and do my own thing...and like I said, "my thing" isn't what some people's thing is. I definitely don't want any bad trouble, but it's fun sometimes staying up until 2 in the morning to skype with some old friends, it's nice to be able to go see whoever you'd like to without having to get the permission from the parents. 

Without saying much more, I guess you can come to the conclusion that I am SO READY for college. I DON'T want EVERYTHING college has to offer me, BUT...for the most part, I think it's going to great for me to get to enjoy some good CLEAN fun. & not have to worry about someone telling me I can't do something..now that'll be the good life! (minus the schoolwork) So no, at this point I can't always get what I want...but very verrrry soon, I will get what I need. FREEDOM!

Love Always, 

JDare

Summer School

From my title most people wouldn't think this post would be a fun one. Fortunately, you can be surprised by how much fun summer school can be! Okay, so this isn't the real type of summer school where you are doing actual school work, but instead most of the activities are arts and crafts, games, and maybe a little reading here and there...and luckily, this is my summer job!

Being with the kids is incredible, and I never believed I would like it as much as I do. Although my occupation will be Physical Therapy doing this type of work has made me wonder if I would be the right person to teach elementary grade school.

So far it's been great and I have had a blast! I will have this job until next Thursday then I will be done for this summer school year. Hopefully I will be able to have this same job again next year!

Here is a picture of one of the cutest boys in the Kindergarten class, Logan.

Here is a picture of me, an extremely cute Kindergartner, and my work buddy Jenna.

and here is my little cousin and me at one of the Friday Field Trips! She's cute as a button!

Gotta love summer school!!

Anticipation of a new beginning.

I know it has been a long while since I have blogged, but now as I lay here in the comfort of my own home cooped up because of my wisdom teeth surgery I find myself having nothing else. The one thing on my mind is one word. COLLEGE.

For some strange reason I have been thinking all day about how excited I am for college, I guess it has something to do with how I have facebook stalked all of my Milligan teammates and looked at their pictures and have seen how much fun they have had this year. I also had a dream last night that I was in my dorm room and randomly, late at night, me and my friends all went out to eat just because we can.

I am mostly excited about being with my friends 24/7. I got the privelage to go on my last band trip to Cincinnati, Ohio last Thursday and got back on Sunday. What was the most fun was getting to spend all of my time with my friends and getting to live with them...which also got me thinking about how exciting next year will be.

In addition to being excited for college I am very excited for graduation as well...I am excited for all the month of May has left for me in my final month of high school. It will be a busy month and a busy time but I know that I better enjoy every last minute of my high school times...because it has FINALLY came to an end.

With Love,
JD

Prom Night

Prom is today, and for MOST teenage girls this is the day that they all look forward to...note I said MOST teenage girls, meaning to exclude ME.

The only thing I really like about it is getting to dress up, I used to be the drum major in high school so that I got to pick out my own sparkly, jazzed out outfit and wear and look nice every Friday night. So I LOVE dressing up and looking nice. What I don't like is all of the planning and stress.

My past experiences with prom has been great, and not so great. My first year I went, I went with a guy that goes to a different school as me. I was nervous as a sophomore but this guy is most certainly one of the best guys I have EVER met. & that is not an exageration. He made prom seem fun! My second year though, not so great...

I won't go into very many details but I will say that "mean girls" very much intended on ruining my whole night..and I let them, so that was terrible.

THIS YEAR I am blessed to be going with a special guy I call one of my best friends, I am going to be able to eat RIBS (which are my favorite) and go play LASER TAG afterwards which is very exciting. I got my dress for around $70 which is a great deal, and hopefully this year will be DRAMA FREE since I have made it my mission to avoid all "mean girls."

Hopefully tonight will be filled with a lot of good food, dancing, and games of victory of laser tag. :)

With Love,
JD

AND HERE IS THE AFTERMATH(:

me and my lovely mother

dad, me, and mom

and last but not least......

me and my wonderful date! Isn't he handsome? :)

The Ruins

In the past few days I've gotten the privilege to watch a movie that was incredibly enlightening to me. So, let me start off with the semi brief over-view of my past 3 years with relationships...

I've been uncontrollably, insanely, madly in love with this guy since I was 13 (I am 17 now) and let's just say that the statement "crazy in love" wasn't anything less than the absolute truth. He was my first love, he was older and a very successful athlete so I looked up to him, and so he had my heart at, well, "hello."  But we dated for a few months before he left for college but only saw each other at school.  I was head over heels even though we weren't together anymore and continued to feel that way all through  high school.
Well, the story goes that we ended up dating again, after three years of complete heartbreak, torture, and longing, and stayed together for about 4 months until we broke up and haven't talked since. & at first, I was okay with the break up, well okay as any girl can be when they break up with the one person they've always believed they'd spend their life with..but now I begin questioning myself. Did I make a mistake? What if he really was the one? I miss him, right? Well, right while I have been contemplating all of these crazy ideas I watched a movie with my mother that seemed to just answer all of my questions. Here is the quote:

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."
-Eat Pray ♥

Needless to say, maybe I have always been afraid to let go because I have always been afraid that there isn't anything better out there for me. Another quote from this movie says this:

"We should not be together because we are afraid of being ruined by being apart, we should not live together unhappily because we are afraid of being even more unhappy apart"

Once I heard these words, this is what I realized...I realized that this is EXACTLY what I had been thinking. I have been so afraid that I would be even more unhappy without this dude then with him. Of course over these past few months I have been pretty much over him...I don't cry at night over him anymore, don't linger too much on the past and my thoughts of him..BUT there was still this little, itty bitty piece that was just barely still hanging on. & now, I can be happy in the fact that I am letting go. Letting go for happiness, for peace, for better things.

Love,
JD

The Typical Saturday...for the NOT-SO-TYPICAL Teen

For most teenagers, the Saturday consists of sleeping in until noon, watching tv until around 5, getting ready, and then heading off to chill with friends at the mall or movies or somewhere fun. Well, I'm not the typical teenager..

I honestly don't think its normal to have the kind of busy schedule that I do. I can't remember the last time I slept in, the last time I got to go out with a group of friends, or just hangout around the house. I am always involved in some kind of event, practice, or trip that I need to be on. BUT with saying all of that today has been one of the most relaxing days I have had in a long time! This is the first Saturday, and will be the only Saturday until AFTER graduation, that I have "off." Because, as crazy as it sounds I have from now until June 4th completely BOOKED with band events, sports activities, and trips (not to mention the dreadful Wisdom Teeth surgery in May).

I would have to say the best part of my day was getting to spend some quality time with my parents, which ALWAYS happens yet NEVER happens. We are all practically glued to each others sides because they are so involved in my school and sports life, but it's always best when we can all just hangout here at the house, eat some ice cream, watch a movie or two, and just chill. Also not having my brother around is a plus! Ha! (just kidding, okay sort of) So these are the days I most certainly look forward too...and I hope no one takes for granted the "lazy days" that we all so rarely get to enjoy.

With Love,
JD